Trust between two people means that they can be vulnerable with each other. Maintaining trust is very important to having satisfying relationships. Losing trust is a two-way thing, and so is rebuilding it. Both parties must want to work at rebuilding lost trust. Below are few tips that can help you rebuild trust;
When you violate someone’s trust, you may feel so regretful that you have a hard time forgiving yourself for the violation. While a repentant heart is an essential part of making up with the person you betrayed, you also need to accept and learn to forgive yourself after you put the effort into making amends.
EXPECT AN EMOTIONAL REACTION FROM THE OTHER PERSON
Admitting that you betrayed someone is not going to make things easier immediately. On the contrary, you can expect an emotional outburst from the other person when she hears you admit your betrayal. But remember, the best way to move on is by putting it all into the open.
APOLOGIZE WITHOUT JUSTIFYING YOUR ACTIONS
This one should be obvious, but unfortunately, sometimes it gets overlooked. How you approach saying your apology will influence whether or not the apology is accepted and you both can move on. When apologizing, avoid justifying your actions.
If you are the one who betrayed someone else, you need to come clean. In interpersonal relationships, it’s especially important to tell the truth when you would benefit from a lie. If you have betrayed someone, coming clean at your own expense tells the other person that their well-being is more important than your own. Denial will only make the other party’s distrust run deeper, especially if the truth is already clear.
MAKE YOUR LIFE TRANSPARENT FOR THE OTHER PERSON
Everybody wants to control personal information. But, for a little while, you may need to forfeit a portion of your privacy for the sake of the person trying to trust you again. By making your life transparent, the other person will be able to confirm with their own eyes that you are not in the midst of another betrayal.
Understand that rebuilding trust takes time. Be patient with the other person, but be persistent in your own efforts. Depending on the severity of your betrayal, building trust can take weeks, months, or years. Never pressure the other person into showing you more trust. Also understand that things may never be quite the same after your betrayal, but if you show that you are a trustworthy person, some level of trust can usually be revived.
CONSIDER THE PERSON’S REACTION TO THE SITUATION
Do they seem genuinely sorry for hurting you, or sorry that they got caught? Are they willing to listen to you and make an effort to do better next time? Are they willing to accept blame? If they don’t seem to truly regret hurting you, or aren’t interested in making things better, then the relationship probably is not worth your time.
EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS
Let the person who betrayed you know just how deeply you were hurt by their actions. Most importantly, tell your betrayer exactly what it was that hurt you. Tell them what you need so that you will start trusting that person again.
ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Even if someone never wants to hurt you, no one will be able to give you exactly what you need, 100 percent of the time. Once you understand that you should not expect perfection, you can get a better idea of how much trust you actually can put in the other person. The goal is to be realistic, not to let yourself get walked all over.
GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE