That is the only whatsapp message I got after sending over 20 lines of messages and several whatsapp calls. I could not control the hot tears that flows down my cheek and the blood that flows out of me. I intended to tell him about my condition on phone but all he cared about is getting rid of it.
I knew it was going to end this way ever since he told me how much he dreads impregnating a lady. Do I even expect him to call back?! No! He will always ignore my messages and walk past me in the office like I never existed.
All these doesn’t make sense right? Yes, I know. I will tell you how it all started.
It was a lazy day for me at work and I will normally check my Instagram page, but that day was just different. I saw an interesting post on my favourite blog. That was how I read a long story of a cheating husband who cheats on his wife with his wife’s mum.
“Ese, you don see Lola today.”
“Check the conference room, she was with Sammy.”
That was the only thing Ada could tell me about Ese’s whereabout. I should have just sit back after Ada told me she was with Sammy. Sammy is our Lead developer, you should know by now that I work with a digital agency.
We were fond of calling Lola, Sammy’s pet. Lola is a lovely girl that everybody want to have around. That she smiles always make me think she can never be human. Call her names, scold her, she will still smile. In my case, reverse is the case. The way I frown when scolded scares me.
“Yeye girl, why were you looking for me?”
“Is it now a crime to have gist for you? Anyways, read this story” I told Lola, handling over my phone to her. Lola has a very stupid way of laughing even when it is not funny. This time I just hissed and left her with the phone.
I decided to sit by the window side today, just very close to Lola. I had the intention of sitting there for the remaining days of the month, since it was just the 3rd day of the month. I know I act irrationally most times but I have my rational times too considering all that went down yesterday on my whatsapp page. This day was just different from every other day.
Sammy is a guy I find irresistible, he’s got this look that will make you say yes to him over and over again. The gist; Sammy was the first friend I made on my first day at work. I knew right from day one that it was going to be another heartbreaking relationship. Yes! I have always had friends who ends up being nothing more than friends with benefit.
We started out well, we clicked at first sight.
“Nice outfit” He said with a flirty look. Trying not to and smile at the same time, I said “Th..thanks”. And like that, we started a conversation. My first day at work was fun, I learnt few tips on coding. We had a break for about 30 minutes which I spent gisting with Sammy.
Just when I was about getting up from my chair to get my phone from Lola, because it is taking too long to read a two page post. I heard my phone ring. Lola handed over the phone to me with nothing like her normal bright smile, but this frown I have never recognised ever since we’ve been working together for months now.
“Why you come frown, that thing no fit you” I said without even checking the caller. I picked up the call without at least a glance at the screen to know the caller.
“Hello?” I said expecting a familiar voice from the other end.
I was a bit surprised it was Sammy calling, how can he call me on phone, when he is just two doors away; the conference room.
“Hi, what’s up?, anything?” I said nonchalantly.
Our conversation on whatsapp didn’t end well yesterday. I had just expressed myself to him and the only response I got after painstakingly telling him how I feel about him and crazily in love with him is; “Okay, you will be fine”. How can he even say that, does he have an idea of how much courage it took to say all that.
I know I shouldn’t feel that way, but you can’t blame me. I am only human. You wouldn’t believe I could say all that if you had seen our chat. Just a line of the says; “I have never felt strongly in love with any human like I feel with you right now. You are all I want and ever desire in a man.”
“You’ve been reading my messages without replying, could it be that you never meant all you said yesterday?” A little confused, I asked “When?, the only thing you sent was okay”.
“I mean just few minutes ago.”
Now I get the gist, so Lola was actually reading my messages. I dropped the call to see what Sammy was talking about. I realised all the messages sent by Sammy marked blue already. I immediately turned towards Lola who was sitting just beside me.
“Babe, when you start to dey read my chat?” I said with so much anger.
“No vex, na mistake. The message popped up when I was reading the article, naso I open am mistakenly” she said without looking towards my direction.
I could still smell the atmosphere of the inner room that day. We decided to meet in the inner room, a room meant for anyone on my team to rest. And just at a corner of the bed sat my Mr charming. He had sent series of messages telling me how much he loves me and would love to be with me. The only but; he is scared of entering into a relationship now.
“I do… I love you too, I wish I can have all of you, but it’s scary.”
“I love what we share and I want us to keep it that way for now.”
Sammy made it clear since day one how he likes to be out of any relationship for now and how much he dreads impregnating a lady. We’ve had sex severally, at his place and my place. We both enjoy every moments spent together and never talk about our feelings until I started it a night before.
Sammy has got to be the best kisser ever for me. We locked lips for about 10 minutes, until I was totally lost in pleasure. Sammy had his mouth dripping of juice from the forbidden fruit, at this moment I was at the peak of it all. I suddenly grabbed his whole to give him a payback for the satisfying job, if you know, you know. I will leave the rest to your imagination.
He rolled over and sat beside me after disposing all the seed for possible fertility in me. At this moment, we have fully recovered from the consuming pleasure and now have to worry about how to stop the seed from growing. We talked about taking the common pills called postinor 2.
Getting rid of it was not the problem but what happened after getting rid of it is the real problem. I left messages for Sammy on Whatsapp, telling him how he has drastically changed after I told him about being pregnant. I expected him to handle it maturely and probably discuss how best to get rid of it since we were both not ready for a baby now. But all I got from him is “get rid of it”. I could have included in the message that I got rid of it but I wanted it to be a face to face talk since it got complicated with bleeding and cramps.
I have been off work for about two days now. I took a mixture I have no idea of what the content is. I had confided in a woman that sells “agbo (herbal mixture)” just two streets away from mine and she gave me the mixture with the assurance that it will wash it all down. The sad thing I have to deal with now is the part that I have used 6 packs of always ultra pad within two days. The blood flows like water and gets each pad filled within an hour.
I don’t want to think about all that has happened, I just want this pain to go. The kind of pain I feel now makes me question my love for Sammy. How can he be this heartless? It wouldn’t be a big deal if I know more about this pain and how long I have to endure but nay, I feel like I am dying. We both enjoyed the sex but now I have to deal with the pain alone. I promise to tell you whatever happens after now if I eventually survive this. For now, I will just pray that God saves me and never give me up to death.